LOVE – A Perspective from a Newbie Husband

February 09, 2015  •  Leave a Comment

WHAT IS LOVE?

IS IT A FEELING?  IS IT BLIND?  DOES IT REALLY MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND?

What is Love

What is Love?

LIFE IS A CLASSROOM, THE MAIN LESSON IS LOVE

I wouldn’t really understand the meaning of love then, and even now I wouldn’t really boast that I fully know what it is. But I do know that it is something you learn as you live. It is something that is lived out. We see examples of exemplary people demonstrating to us how to truly love one another.  Through them we grow to be more human and in our own lives we try our best to do the same.  In the final analysis, we finally realize that love is not the feeling but an action!

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.” 
James 2:17-18 

Deck n Dar Wedding

Wedding portrait by Jamie Lihan

 

LOVE = RESPONSIBILITY, INTENTIONAL and (ugh!) SACRIFICE

A major event in my life that gave me a clearer perspective of love was when I decided to get married to my girlfriend. The few weeks leading to the wedding day, I would constantly ask myself this question:

“Would I love my wife in spite of _(insert something that irritates me)_”.

While going through the list in my head, it suddenly dawned on me that I am making a conscious decisionto love a person at times when it won’t be easy to do.

Deck Dar Henry Hotel Postnup 010

I treated my wife to our very own photo shoot during Christmas.

 

True to the stories of many married couples before us, love does take on a different form once you get married. The little things count. Washing the dishes, holding hands in public, or saving the last piece for your partner, are small acts of love. According to Gary Chapman, author of the 5 Love Languages, some actions count more depending on the personality of your partner. But everything is an action that will require your time, thought and resource.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT

It’s been almost 10 months since I got married to my beautiful wife. We are taking things by the day. We try to keep things fun, meaningful and memorable. Below is a short part of a growing list of the things we have learned to do (and avoid doing), something that we hope to make us grow stronger together throughout the years.

  1. Make good memories. Yes, make ways to record the events in your life.
  2. Do your weekly/monthly schedules together.  Plan ahead your date nights and your visits to your parents. For those who don’t enjoy visiting the parents, planning ahead makes you emotionally prepared.
  3. Regularly meet couples who inspire you. Learn from them.
  4. Call when you have the chance.  It’s sweeter than a text.
  5. Put the smartphone away during meal times.
  6. Pray together.
  7. Do not try to win an argument, instead try to understand.
  8. Don’t shout when you’re angry.
  9. Kiss and say “I Love You” often.
  10. Read our Bible and have daily couple devotion time.

Lists like these remind me of the fact that we need to put effort into our marriage to make things work. Love is not just a feeling. It is an action that we deliberately choose to do everyday. Whatever part of your life you are in,  once you have done the action, the feeling naturally flows in.
How about you? What is love?

First Family Portrait copy

Our very first family portrait.


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